tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2708411184309597995.post797134834583889527..comments2023-04-29T07:06:20.771-07:00Comments on leading little hearts home: BEYOND UNEQUALLY YOKED {being equally matched}Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2708411184309597995.post-6961827164540481852014-02-22T16:42:20.903-08:002014-02-22T16:42:20.903-08:00Wow! That is the perfect real life picture of bei...Wow! That is the perfect real life picture of being well matched, Dana! Thank you so much for sharing it and your thoughts. I love it! And I love the sweet marriage I see you and Mike have as well-- fun, love and service. A wonderful match!<br /><br />I stumbled across this article on the LAF site after writing this post: http://www.charismamag.com/blogs/fire-in-my-bones/19757-10-men-christian-women-should-never-marry <br /><br />It is written from the perspective of a father who has raised four girls (three of whom are already married). His point #10 exactly hits the personality of a Mr. Hardy from the book I referenced, The Withered Heart. These are not slight behavioral issues, but what he calls "back away" issues. More food for thought. :)<br /><br />Thank you for the great dialog, friends!<br /><br />With love,<br />Rebecca<br /><br />Rebecca Jhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05396031817687876256noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2708411184309597995.post-56709650195542960302014-02-22T14:36:57.327-08:002014-02-22T14:36:57.327-08:00Love it RJ! Well, said! Love these posts when you ...Love it RJ! Well, said! Love these posts when you pull from scripture, books and your thoughts. Shortly after we were married, I spoke with a woman who described her daughter as wound and intense. The daughter was newly married to a man, who when he spoke to her brought peace to her and brought out her best. The women explained this was one of the reasons they encouraged her to marry him. It wasn't a perfect girl and a perfect guy but what they brought out in each other that was important. I absolutely agree that God uses marriage as part of the sanctification process. It is my prayer that my children's future spouses bring out their best and are patient with their worst. Willing to go to the cross together. I live it. Mike and I laugh at some of the immature things we did early in our marriage (not that we have arrived), but we still brought out what was best in each other, including being willing to be patient, say I'm sorry and move forward. A favorite quote: "A perfect marriage is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other." I would add "and they bring out the best in each other."Danahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01972531327377470702noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2708411184309597995.post-84665722207220337462014-02-22T14:09:47.553-08:002014-02-22T14:09:47.553-08:00Hi Wendy,
Back again! I wanted to take a mome...Hi Wendy, <br /><br /><br />Back again! I wanted to take a moment before answering the suggestion that this topic may going beyond the Word of God. After some prayer and consideration, I thought these points might be worth considering. Yes, I think in three point outlines- ha! Bear with me, sister. I may officially be a nerd! :)<br /><br /><br />1. I think that God is very clear that there are people He expects us to avoid. We are warned about the angry man, the fool, the lazy person etc. The Lord uses the Proverbs and many examples in the OT to help us navigate these behaviors and to show us that we will/should not be compatible with everyone. In fact, our children may suffer harm and serious consequence (like the example of David and Bethsheba) for neglecting God’s warnings. If that happens God can still bring good, but choosing something contrary to His will should not be our aim. I know you would agree and this may be what you meant by not “throwing our kids to the wolves.”<br /><br />2. When we consider some of the grander things God has in mind for our kiddos in the area of marriage, I think we should also remember what He has included in the Song of Solomon. We may think that being “in love” is a modern idea, but God shows us exactly that scenario. These two lovers were in harmony; they desired one another and were anything but duty bound to be together if ya know what I mean- wink, wink. ;) They seemed to bring out the best in one another and we might say they were well matched. They both loved and respected the other- a fantastic start if you ask me. :) <br /><br />3. And finally (maybe most importantly in relation to our discussion) the Lord has told us who we choose to marry is an issue of liberty. So we are free to have varying opinions on this topic. In 1 Corinthians 7:39 the LORD states that a widow “… is free to marry anyone she wishes, only in the Lord.” As long as a future mate is a Believer, a woman has a lot of liberty in her choice. It's not so much that these ideas are going beyond the Word of God as that He has given us room on purpose. In addition to personal preference, He gives us the ability to reason, to glean knowledge and to seek Him. We have room to chose to embrace a methodology like courtship-- or not The biblical aim is simply purity. And if a maiden chooses to yoke herself with someone she is equally matched and in love with as I would humbly suggest then (wohoo!) she is free to do that. If she chooses otherwise, then the old saying may prove to be true that the one who chooses hastily may “repent at leisure," ;) In either case, she will absolutely be sanctified by marriage and whatever God ordains if she is in the Lord. <br /><br />Thanks again for the thought provoking questions! <br /><br />With my love,<br />RJ<br />Rebecca Jhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05396031817687876256noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2708411184309597995.post-74483825434458309582014-02-21T12:52:38.443-08:002014-02-21T12:52:38.443-08:00Thanks for the thoughts Walkers! It gives me the ...Thanks for the thoughts Walkers! It gives me the chance to clarify what may have been unclear in the post. I probably should have stated that we will never marry the “perfect person” nor are we perfect ourselves (unfortunately!).<br /> <br />If it seemed I was making a case for being overly picky or to shy away from a slight mismatch, thank you for giving me the opportunity to deny that. :)<br /> <br />The book being discussed did make a case that backgrounds, temperaments and how a daughter is impacted by particular personalities are considerations prior to marriage. What was pictured was probably more of a dating situation than what we would consider courting where certain pretty major elements were hidden. Something that does not often happen when families are together rather than a man courting "solo."<br /> <br />We are so thankful for so many lovely examples of courting (including your family's example) that we have witnessed and do trust completely on God’s goodness for the future. <br /><br />Thanks again for voicing your thoughts! I'd love to hear if there are certain books or resources that you found helpful along the way.<br /><br />Much love, <br />RJ<br />Rebecca Jhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05396031817687876256noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2708411184309597995.post-36492653576576546972014-02-20T17:27:33.760-08:002014-02-20T17:27:33.760-08:00I've done a lot of thinking on this topic, too...I've done a lot of thinking on this topic, too, Rebecca. And, though how we've practiced things (in our family) lines up with what you've written, I have difficulty, at times, knowing whether we're going beyond what God reveals in His Word--where marriages, that while difficult, were blessed by Him. (Think: Abraham and Sarah, Isaac and Rebekah, Jacob and his wives, David and Bathsheba). Perhaps some of these simply fall under the category of God making good things come from bad choices. So, while I don't advocate that we send our servants out (yeah, what servants, right?) to find spouses for our children, I do wonder if God has grander things in mind than what we picture for our kids. I do know that often, even though there might be a slight mismatch (I'm not saying throw our kids to the wolves) God often uses marriage as part of the sanctification process. Anyway, I'm not disagreeing with you, just thinking out loud. :) The Walkershttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10009913988295707397noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2708411184309597995.post-12799466182216426452014-02-20T09:35:49.548-08:002014-02-20T09:35:49.548-08:00Thank you for another fantastic recommendation, Li...Thank you for another fantastic recommendation, Lis. It was a great topic of conversation here with the older girls and very thought provoking for me as well. :)Rebecca Jhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05396031817687876256noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2708411184309597995.post-39270242456723380852014-02-20T09:20:47.279-08:002014-02-20T09:20:47.279-08:00Love this--such an insightful book, I think a valu...Love this--such an insightful book, I think a valuable one for young people of BOTH genders to read!!Lisanoreply@blogger.com