Monday, July 23, 2012

WHY MAMA? {Why do bad things happen?}

Hailey in her sling

I am typically a person who builds margin into our lives.  But there are certain seasons that are just unavoidably busy.  That has been the case here.  So when I saw the long 4th of July weekend coming I- somewhat sadly- didn't make outside plans.  Although we always love the chance to celebrate with friends and family, this year we just needed a quiet day at home... or so I thought.

As Tom was manning the BBQ and I was soaking in the view-  of little ones running through the backyard with a kite-  I was really looking forward to the idea of having a quiet night.  Soon the little ones were hollering from the trampoline asking if I would jump with them.  "Sure!" Ready to earn the title of Mom of the Year- or at least the hour- I hopped onto the trampoline ready to play.

The girls and I jumped, sang and ran around until I had worked up a sweat.  But we were having so much fun none of us wanted to stop.  Hailey laid herself down on the mat of the trampoline and squealed, "Bounce me, Mama!"  And so I did.  Soon she was really bouncing.  She was sailing a full foot off the trampoline mat, maybe more, and was having a great time.  What I didn't see was her little head band slip from her head and her arm instinctively reach back for it.  What I did see in that next moment was a look of shock and fear cross her face that made me stop dead in my tracks.

I quickly found out that her little arm was hurt.  I have had no experience with broken bones- I  have all girls I am supposed to immune from this sort of thing, right?- but I knew this was broken.  I called to Tom and soon the three of us were headed to Urgent Care and then the ER. 

Goodbye quiet night at home. 

Hailey was amazing.  God gave her grace and self control even through the pain.  As I was driving the car to Urgent Care I called back:   "I am so sorry you are hurt Hailey."  To which she sweetly responded through her tears, "It's alwight.  It's ok." 
Like I said, I have no experience with breaks and so it came as a complete shock to me to hear that Hailey would need surgery, pins and then therapy to regain her mobility.  That was if the surgery was a success- this was a bad place for a break we were told- where the bone becomes thin and makes it like trying to balance two knife edges on top of each other according to one of the surgeons.

The next thing I knew I was staying the night in the hospital, checking Hailey's reflexes every hour to make sure that her artery wasn't pinched and blocking blood flow to her muscles- a condition that could have caused her arm to become permanently paralysed.  I found myself awake most of the night- alone with nothing to do but pray.  So, I prayed.  I am not sure why I needed to be up praying, but I guess I did.

As exhausting as it was, there were certainly things to be thankful for.  In ER I asked the Lord to show Himself with us and He did.  He provided protection, some of the most amazing people to help Hailey through what could have been so very difficult for a four year old (IV's, surgery, recovery etc.) and really the best possible experience for Hailey. 

We are so thankful for the faithful prayers of our dear family and friends. 

Once home, one of our girls came to me confused. 

Why, Mama?  Why did this happen to our Hailey? 

I wasn't sure I had the answer for her.  I told her we know that we can trust God to work things together for our good- although we may not know the whys at the moment. 

Soon it was time for us to gather for Bible.  And what was in the chapter that day- my comments added in parenthesis?:

We are hard-pressed on every side, yet not crushed;
we are perplexed (we may wonder why), but not in despair,
we are persecuted, but not forsaken;
struck down, but not destroyed-
always carrying about in the body the dying of
the Lord Jesus, that the life of Jesus
also may be manifested in our body.
2 Corinthians 4:8-9

Through our weakness, Christ is put on display.  Through being pressed; through persecution and perplexing situations Christ is manifested in us.  Weaknesses do not cripple the believer.  Instead- in the moment of pressing- we find strength in Christ.  Yes, we may be perplexed from time to time- even struck down.  But we do not need to despair or lose hope.  The Lord is with us and we can trust in Him. 



  1. My family and I keep your little Hailey in our prayers. I hope she is doing better each day! It is a wonderful thing to belong to a Lord that, although things may happen that we do not understand, He will always be faithful and we have nothing to fear.

    Hugs my dear friend!

  2. Thank you dear Sommer. Your family is such a blessing to me. :)

  3. Praying for sweet Hailey. Such a timely post, as we are seeing times of trial in families all around us. Thank you for these sweet words of encouragement. Blessings!

  4. Hi Rebecca,

    **I just typed out a response to your post, however something happened with my computer and I am not sure if my response went through to you or not? Sorry if you end up with two very similar responses from me**

    Anyway! I wanted to let you know that we will be lifting your little Hailey up in our prayers. Wow, just seeing the x-rays made my stomach flip a few times, so I can only imagine how much pain she must have been in! What a brave little girl she was!! We will be praying for a speedy and complete recovery. Keep us updated on how she is doing. :0)

    I also wanted to add that the scripture you posted really, really {REALLY} spoke to my heart today. Earlier this month we found out that we were expecting our 5th child. We were over the moon excited - immediately talking about names, wondering if this would be our 5th girl or perhaps 1st boy, etc. etc. Sadly our excitement ended rather abruptly when we realized I was having a miscarriage. I haven't had a miscarriage before, however we know the pain of losing a child all too well. I think I may have already shared this with you..but in 2007 our sweet 5 month old daughter Liberty was ushered in the arms of the Lord. In the first few years following her passing I literally thought my life was over, that I would never ever feel joy again. Oh, but the Lord has been SOOOOO faithful and has made himself so apparent, especially in our darkest hours! We truly had been *struck down - but not destroyed* through all of this. With our most recent loss, the Lord has brought more and more comfort to our hearts, just when we needed it most. Like your sweet little girl, our oldest daughter (7) has also asked us "why bad things happen". Spending time talking to our daughters, and allowing them to ask difficult questions has really proven to be a great time to share with them, the love and mercy of our Heavenly Father. Oh how lost we would be without HIM! We are so blessed to have the opportunity to take refuge under His loving arms!

    We will be sharing this scripture with our girls tonight as I know it will help them with everything that has gone on this month. If it's okay with you, I would also like to show them your blog and the story of your little Hailey. Seeing her picture and reading the story about the trampoline, as well as the scripture, might help them to understand that other families are also going through trials. And that no matter what we are going through - the Lord is right there with us and we can always trust in Him!

    If you feel lead, can you please say a little prayer for us about tomorrow? I need to go in for an ultrasound to make sure everything is okay and to also check for cysts/fibroids as I have been in quite a bit of pain for the past few months. We are praying for a "clean bill of health" tomorrow morning and also for the Lord to bless again, with another precious little baby in the near future!

    Oh! I have been meaning to ask how Miss Lydia is doing. Has she had any seizures lately? We continue to pray that she is doing great and feeling well.

    Well I suppose I have written way too much here. Sorry for dumping my heart in your lap this afternoon! Told you I was touched by your post :) Hope your family has a great week and Hailey has a quick recovery!


  5. Oh Kelly,

    I wish I could give you a great big hug. What a beautiful, beautiful example you are of that verse. Christ is surely manifest in you! Thank you so much for sharing your heart. What a deep encouragement it is. I am simply crying with you today. Yes, God is good.

    I have never had the experience of losing a little one in the way that you did with little Liberty, but I have had three miscarriages- my most recent just before we conceived Hailey. I remember very well praising God at church, tears rolling down my cheeks as we sang- and my heart learned anew that- All I Have Needed Thy Hand Hath Provided. He knows Kelly. And what a blessed homecoming you will enjoy someday my dear.

    With each step we learn to trust a little more, don't we?

    Yes- of course I would be honored if you would share little Hailey with your girls. Thank you. :)

    I am praying for you dear one.


  6. P.S. Miss Lydia is doing well! No seizures to speak of the past 2 months! :)

  7. Dear Rebecca,
    Oh how I wish I couldn't relate with broken bones, but sadly I do. Seven weeks ago I had to have a hysterectomy and oopherectomy in hopes of healing some other physical problems. One week after my surgery, my sweet 2 1/2 year old girl fell off a bouncy horse, that sits about a foot off the ground, and hurt her elbow. My husband, myself, and our 4 year old girl rushed her to the Urgent Care. We were told it looked like a fractured elbow, but not completely sure. It wasn't bad enough to require immediate surgery. We would follow up with the orthopedist in a week to evaluate, after her swelling went down.

    The next week, I was having complications from my surgery and needed a corrective surgery. It was scheduled on the same day as my baby girls orthopedist appointment. My husband took me to the hospital that morning, then thankfully was able to bring me home early enough to then take our little girl to her appointment. God was SO merciful, she was healed! No surgery, no cast, nothing. The splint came off and she was as happy as could be. Praise God!

    Three weeks later, she was bouncing on our trampoline with a friend and she must have fallen awkwardly (I didn't see it). But it was that cry that every mama doesn't want to hear. We rushed back to the same Urgent Care, same dr, same process...only this time her tibia is broken. :(
    She is in a splint today and we will go in Wed to see the orthopedist for more x-rays and possibly a cast.

    A friend showed up with a wagon to pull her around in, some balloons, cards and Starbucks for a worn out mama. The best thing she did bring is words of wisdom. She told me that when everyone is feeling well, we are usually busy with errands, play dates, etc. However, when someone is sick, we are at home snuggling, reading books, spending precious time together. Isn't that so wise?

    I have clung to this over and over. I want to cherish the time I have with my sweet girls and for all of us to learn to be caretakers and servants to one another.

    I will show my girls your pictures of your sweet girl and we will pray for her, in faith that God is going to make her arm better than new. And that He will give you the renewal you need in caring for your family.

    Much love and prayer to you!

  8. Dear Suzanne-

    Two surgeries and two trips to Urgent Care??? You my dear know what hard-pressed feels like!

    I praise God that by His care you are not crushed under the pressure of trial. Instead you see the good that the Lord can bring in the midst of it- truly godliness with contentment is great gain (1 Timothy 6:6). What a shining example you are of that truth!

    I love what your sweet friend did and what she shared- so very true. I also realized that in trial even though my family and I know that God is sovereign- and even though we know the Word- it is so helpful to be reminded of truth. In the stress of situations it is easy to forget what we know. :)

    Praying for you and your sweet daughter as you both heal snuggled together with sweet books! Blessed that you would pray for us. Thank you!


  9. Dear Rebecca, I have walked in your shoes! Isn't amazing how the Lord give grace and peace just when we need it most! Are her pins permanent or will they be removed? Thanks for the update on Miss Lydia, I was wondering how she was fairing lately. Hugs to you and your family, we will be praying for a speedy recovery for everyone ;)

  10. Hello dear Margaret!


    The pins are scheduled to be removed at the end of the month. Thank you for your prayers my friend. :)

  11. I just wanted to let you know your family is in our prayers. We have lots of little ones, but thankfully no broken bones. I can't imagine how scary it was to go through, for you and for her :) But, as we read God is faithful, and we don't have to go it alone!
    I always look forward to your posts!