BEYOND UNEQUALLY YOKED {being equally matched}

 

"A woman's heart, John, is a strange instrument,

and few men have learned to play upon it skillfully."

The Withered Heart, 1857

My thoughts on marriage have evolved.   I think there was a time when I believed that all you needed was love.

Then I understood that God had certain requirements for believers.  They are to yoke themselves only with other believers. 
 

Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers:
for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness?
and what communion hath light with darkness? 

- 2 Corinthians 6:14

Now, as I think about these punkins' of ours someday (far, far, far away in the future) getting married I realize there is more than that. 


Love?  Yes. 
Equally yoked?  Yes. 
But what about equally matched?


As a young person I hadn't heard much on the topic of courting, but my mom had always impressed upon me that dating was for the purpose of marriage.  In other words, if I couldn't see myself marrying that person, then I really had no reason to be dating them.  I know it saved me  from a lot of heart break.  Thanks, Mom!  

As a teenager, I met a guy who I thought I would want to marry (and I did!).  I would spend time with him at family gatherings.  He would play with children younger than himself, speak respectfully to adults and serve and spend time with his mom.  He was an unselfish boy who, not surprisingly, grew into an unselfish man. 

He is kind and playful with our children.  He happily serves me.  And the result is that we happily love and serve him in return.  There is no burden in our service.  His expectations for us are so low, that we are always sure to exceed them! 

~~~

I recently read an interesting book, The Withered Heart by Timothy Shay Arthur (Kindle version is $ .99- thanks, Lisa!) 

In the book, the author paints the picture of two young Christians who were unequally matched.  Long story short, it reminds young maidens that there are far worse things in this life than not being married. 

Just a bit of the story line:


The story involves a respected young man who pursues a lovely Christian girl.  He is well known and in a position of authority in the church.  He seems from the outside to be a good match for this gentle, sweet spirited girl.  

But John Hardy has a much different view of submission than Jane's father did.  And quite frankly, a young lady raised in a different environment would have been an easier match for him.  

Misunderstandings, unkind words and glances are a shock to the system of this delicate girl.  And emotionally she shuts down.  The consequence is that the very sunshine her husband wished for his home was snuffed out by his heavy handedness.

I am sure you have heard of several unhappy marriages over the years.  Often in hindsight, the warning signs were clear.  The author portrays similar warnings in his account:


- Although the young girl would look forward to seeing her fiance, when together she was not completely happy and when the young man left, the girl was left feeling pensive and unhappily distracted, feeling insecure about herself and the future.

-  The young man would never praise her efforts to please him.  If she performed some service (like singing) he would withhold his praise, causing her not to feel good enough.  She would work harder and harder, but unable to please, she eventually gave up on her natural talents. 

- The young girl had a negative first impression of the young man, but decided to ignore those impressions because so many other people seemed to think so highly of him within their church community.

- Her family also had a negative impression of him, but were afraid to voice it because the hearts of the young people had become connected prior to the courtship process.


For our home, marriage is still far off (did I mention far, far off- smile) but my thoughts on the topic seem to be coming into greater focus.

Praying for equally matched young people who will truly work side by side effectively for the kingdom of Christ.


Blessings friends,






______________

We have some excited girls over here!  15 days and counting until we leave for Texas and the Christian Worldview Film Festival!  Will you be there?  We'd love to meet you! 

 

 

 

 

THERE I PLANT MY FOOT

 

 

 

source

I recently finished the book, Jane Eyre.  If you have read the novel, you know that near the end of the book, Jane finds herself in a difficult and painful dilemma.  Alone in the world, an orphan from a young age, Jane has her first experience with mutual love.  She is about to marry the man who has been her employer, when she finds out- at the alter- that he is already married.  

He explains to Jane that in a cruel plot, when he was too young to see through the trick, he was duped into marrying a girl who quickly became insane.  For years he provided basic care for this violent woman but explained that in reality he never had a wife.  That he and Jane could still be man and wife (although Jane knows he really means that she would be his mistress).  And he urges her to run away with him.  No one would ever know.  Really he is the victim.  And he loves her.  For once in her life someone loves her.  

Jane's very reason begins to turn traitor against her.  She desires to comply with the man she loves and a battle begins within her heart.  Who else in the world cared for her?  Who would ever be injured by her seeking to fulfill her own chance at happiness?  And since no one would be hurt by their being together, would it really be wrong?  What of this poor man she loves?  

Finally, a glimmer of reason takes hold in the fog.  And in one of my favorite portions of the book, Jane takes her stand within herself:


"I will keep the law of God...  I will hold to the principles received by me when I was sane, and not mad as I am now.

Laws and principles are not for the times when there is no temptation:  they are for such moments as this, when body and soul rise in mutiny against all rigour...  If at my individual conscience I might break them, what would be their worth?"

"Preconceived opinions, foregone determinations are all I have at this hour to stand by:  there I plant my foot."



Predetermined ideas helped Jane to make the right choice when reason was compromised.  

At the end of the book, Charlotte Bronte demonstrates the way God used this singular moment to bless Jane and eventually makes a way in which she and her love can be married without breaking God's commands- only after a transformation in the man she loved.  It is not a perfect tale.  It was mature and complicated, but one I wanted to share with our older girls.

~~~

For some reason it reminded me of the 1980's campaign against drug use in the public schools.  It's slogan emerged when Nancy Reagan visited an elementary school in Oakland, California.  A little schoolgirl asked the first lady what she should do if she was offered drugs to which Mrs. Reagan responded, "Just say no." 

Critics of the effort said the slogan, "Just say no" was too simplistic to really help, but it did.  As Mrs. Reagan took the message throughout the US and to other nations, totaling over 250,000 miles, drug use declined. 

Could it be that if kids embraced what they wanted to do before temptation hit they would be prepared to make wise choices?  It seemed that simple.

  

 

Our children will make their mistakes in life.  But they can be helped by our simply taking the time to talk through the things they might face ahead of time.

Sometimes parents doubt the effectiveness of parental influence.  But Gary Chapman shares survey research in his book, "The Five Love Languages of Teenagers" that when teenagers were asked who had the greatest influence on their decisions- parents or friends?  The influence was parents hands down in both their thoughts and behavior.  

And these words which I command you today

shall be in your heart. 

You shall teach them diligently to your children,

and shall talk of them when you sit in your house,

when you walk by the way, when you lie down,

and when you rise up.

 

-Deuteronomy 6:6-7

Can just talking through potential difficulties ahead of time help children to know where to place their foot?  I think it may be just that simple.


Blessings to you, 

____________________

P.S.  Have you met this sweet Christian book for young girls?  Rosie is a homeschooled girl who loves God, horses and her family.  I just finished reading it to our younger girls and we all loved it!

 

IN PRACTICAL TERMS {teaching about false gods}

This comment is from a previous post entitled, LIVING EPISTLES. 


So Rebecca, just in "practical" terms, how do you approach teaching something like world history? I ask because teaching about the ancient world, for instance, seems nearly impossible without at least mentioning other religions and false gods. Do you simply read about those without delving in, or do you skip the material altogether? And if you avoid the material altogether, do you wrestle with the idea that giving children half of the "tapestry"-- if you will-- might do harm when they go to understand the unreached?

Might home be a training ground for sharpening their minds to truth? Cannot scripture be primary (in fact, central!) while effectively denouncing other ideas, even for a child? It is hard to convey over the computer, but I am asking in the spirit of gentleness, not with any kind of need to discredit this idea. :) I'm wrestling myself... (This is timely, as we just read the Proverb about muddying the righteous waters and discussed what that might mean for a family seeking God!)

P.S. If you ever have the time, I would love a post on how your methods/materials might have changed from your first homeschooled child to your fifth! What does an experienced homeschooling mom choose differently? What do you wish you would have considered early on?




Thank you for your question.  As you said- it is hard at times to convey ideas over the computer so I hope what I am saying comes through in a spirit of gentleness as well.  These thoughts are born over many years of reading the Word and praying about just how much the Lord wants our family to focus on these things. 

Do I wrestle? you asked.  Absolutely.  I will seek to share here just what I wrestle with (the verses that shape my thinking) so you can understand where we are coming from.  We may end up in different places at the end of the discussion and that is ok with me. 

As I said previouly, each family,

with the help of the Holy Spirit,

must measure where their own 

children are and decide how much

information to share and when. 

"Cannot scripture be primary (in fact, central!) while effectively denouncing other ideas, even for a child?"  you asked.   Yes, of course! 

We are simply sharing the direction the Lord is leading us.  I would extend a caution to any family; however, not to presume that someone else knows what is  "need to know" for your family. I do not think we should rush in to teach the ins and outs of false religions for knowledge sake alone (or because everyone else is doing it) and assume it won't ever stumble our little ones.

I have run across MANY resources over the years that encourage us to teach our children all about false gods, while I have run accross very few homeschool moms that are saying they are not. The Lord seems to be leading our family not to teach these things for now and I am willing to share that (possibly unpopular) idea with others. :)

___________________________________

And to follow is why my response didn't fit into the comments section.


Jeremiah 10:1 says:  "Hear the word which the Lord speaks to you, O house of Israel.  Thus says the Lord:  Do not learn the way of the Gentiles; Do not be dismayed at the signs of heaven, for the Gentiles are dismayed at them..."

Through time there have always been men who have worshiped the created rather than the Creator.  Celestial images, idols fashioned by hands "...who cannot speak and "must be carried because they cannot go by themselves."

Certainly God gives us glimpses into these wicked practices that we may be tempted to believe are simply "ancient."  But a keener glance shows us this is part of an on-going spiritual battle.  For example, the Canaanite worship of Baal became the religion of the Druids (those St. Patrick converted in Ireland) which became the religion of Wicca (Witchcraft).  The worship of false gods is actually demon worship- 1 Corinthians 10:20 and is still very real today.

___________________________________

WHY WE DON'T HEAVILY COVER FALSE GODS (DEMON WORSHIP) IN OUR HOME EDUCATION

 
1.  GOD COMMANDED THE COMPLETE DISTRUCTION OF THOSE WORSHIPING FALSE GODS AND SAID THEY WILL STUMBLE HIS PEOPLE:  God commanded through Moses that His people completely destroy those worshiping false Gods saying "they will teach you to follow all the detestable things they do in worshipping their gods, and you will sin against the Lord your God"  Deut. 20:17.

We don't like to think that we or our children would be stumbled in the way God says.  We like to think that studying all things sharpens us somehow and makes us more fit to share the gospel.  Sadly, we see that Solomon's open minded experiences did not have a sharpening effect.  If the wisest man on earth can stumble in these things, then we know that we must be on guard.


2.  GOD DOES NOT WANT IT EVEN NAMED AMONG US:  "Let no one be found among you who sacrifices his son or daughter in the fire, who practices divination or sorcery, interprets omens, engages in witchcraft."  Deuteronomy 18:10 and Exodus 22:18 "Do not allow a sorceress to live."

God tells us not to have those engaged in demon worship and witchcraft even named among us, yet many Christian homes are embracing books and movies that glorify witchcraft.  Many people in our culture look at false religions with respect, interest-- and almost longing. Native American practices, Eastern religions and ancient Druid practices are actually popular here and abroad.  Do our children need to know the specifics of those false religions in order to be a light shining in darkness?  We just haven't come to that conclusion.


3.  GOD DID NOT WANT HIS PEOPLE TO EVEN KEEP THE GOLD AND SILVER FROM FALSE GODS:  "The images of their gods you are to burn in the fire. Do not covet the silver and gold on them, and do not take it for yourselves, or you will be ensnared by it, for it is detestable to the LORD your God" (Deuteronomy 7:25).

Many would argue that what comes from the outside does not defile- are we not told that a stronger brother can even eat meat offered to false gods in the NT- it's just meat.  Yes- this is true about meat.  But when it came to the actual practice of demon worship God called for a serious seperation.

___________________________________

THE PRACTICAL ON HOW WE DO TO PREPARE OUR CHILDREN


1.  IF GOD TEACHES IT, WE LEARN IT   God shares plenty about wicked men worshiping demons by casting their children into the fire etc.  If He tells us about it, we learn it.  We simply don't suppliment this topic with a lot of additional materials that describe their practices.  I may do some general research and then give an overview. I simply wish to approach this subject with caution for the reasons stated above.


2.  WE GIVE OVERVIEW INFORMATION RATHER THAN DETAILED DESCRIPTIONS OF IDOL WORSHIP  We read aloud Mystery of History and skip what we don't feel is profitable.  A lesson may go into the Egyptian vulture goddess and we will share with the children that these people worshiped idols and were the rebellious people that were scattered from the Tower of Babel.  We don't go heavily into it but they know who is who and in later years if they engage someone who worships the Egyptian vulture goddess I suppose they can look that up themselves.  ;)

One might bring up the example of Paul knowing about the monuments of the Romans.  It seems clear to me that Paul knew about these monuments because he saw them with his own eyes. Here is a grown man grounded in the Word and using the opportunities around him with the hopes that some might be saved. Amen! We do not get the impression he was taught the ins and outs of false religions as a child.

and

3.  WE SEEK TO BELIEVE GOD  If He says not to have things named among us or says learning things can stumble rather than sharpen us, we trust that even if it gives us the appearance of being simple minded to others.  By His grace (although imperfectly) we seek to follow what He says about these things trusting that if He says we can be stumbled, then we can.  :)



While we all desire to strive for excellence for the glory of God, we must ask ourselves what true excellence is- by the standard of God's Word alone.  And what makes a man (or woman) thouroughly equipped for every good work?

But as for you, continue in what you have learned
and have become convinced of,

because you know those from whom you learned it,
and how from infancy you have

known the holy Scriptures, which are able to make
you wise for salvation through

faith in Christ Jesus.

All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching,
rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness,
so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped

for every good work.

2 Timothy 3:14-17

I hope this helps you to at least understand our reasoning on these things.


Love and blessings.

LIVING EPISTLES

Cousins at our church's annual picnic.

Like you, I have been thinking and praying about the new school year.  Each year I analyze what we have been doing and ask the Lord for wisdom going forward. 


As our older children are either in high school or heading that way (I will have a 10th grader and an 8th grader this year) I had some additonal questions for the Lord regarding sheltering and how much to expose them to as they grow into the women He desires.  


The Lord's timing is perfect and as we had the chance to spend some time with some dear friends who are also missionaries, I feel like the Lord again helped to steer my thought process.

Tom and Lydia participate in three legged race!

1.  I asked my missionary friend what she thought about exposing older children to the specifics of false religions/ comparing them to Christianity. 


We have always stuck by Deuteronomy 12:30-31 which says:

"Take care that you be not ensnared to follow them,

after they have been destroyed before you,

and that you do not inquire about their gods, saying,

‘How did these nations serve their gods?"

In context I know that the Israelites were not to inquire how others served their gods that they might not be stumbled and do the same.  


My friend wisely answered that the Lord convicted her husband early on (and she has followed his lead) to study the Bible alone so that when something false came accross his path he would know it to be false right away.  She shared that this decision has made him very sharp biblically and has been a great asset to his ministry. 


She encouraged that if our children are well grounded they will know what is false.  In later years if they need to look up specific details they will, but from her perspective this generation's greatest need will to be ready and sharpened by the Word alone. 

Pa and Uncle Ted pulling for the same team.

It brought to mind the true example of how federal agents are trained to spot counterfeit bills:

"Federal agents don’t learn to spot counterfeit money

by studying the counterfeits.

They study genuine bills until they master the look

of the real thing.

Then when they see the bogus money

they recognize it.”

-John Mac Arthur

Are we having our children study (memorize and meditate on) the real thing alone so they will be equipped to spot the counterfeits?  Or are we teaching them the counterfeits and muddying the water?

Team cousin.

2.  I also asked her opinion about the scope of education and the idea that homeschoolers often fear their children will be ignorant if they have not mastered every grammar principle or Latin by the time they reach High School.




My dear friend answered me with a true story.


There was a Christian brother she met who was imprisioned for his faith while living in a restricted nation.  During his imprisonment he was given a blank notebook.  
With the help of the Holy Spirit, he began to write down passages of Scripture that he had previously put to memory.  Psalms, the book of James and more.  


The verses were given back to him in chapter chunks, and bit by bit he began to rewrite the words of his Lord.  As he did, he could not help but share God's Word with those around him.  Soon men in his prison were converted and worshiped Christ.  


The authorities did not like the fact that Christianity was spreading and so they transfered him to another prison.  Of course you can guess what happened next.  He continued to write and speak God's Word- and more men were converted added to the Kingdom of God.  


Again and again they moved him, and again and again men came to faith by the Word.  Clearly the Lord was blinding the eyes of those in authority to the true cause of the "problem."  Instead of stopping the spread of the gospel, the prison guards were personally facilitating the missionary journey of one of Christ's living epistles.   

You are our epistle written in our hearts,

known and read by all men;

clearly you are an epistle of Christ...

written not with ink but by the Spirit

of the living God.

2 Corinthians 3:3

The sponge race hand-off.

Eventually this man was released and returned to his family.  He brought the handwritten Bible with him and began to teach his grandchildren from it.  He checked this Book with one of the other two Bibles in their assembly and it was found to be word for word.  


My friend encouraged that homeschoolers today should focus on grounding their children in the Word.  She said she hoped the homeschoolers would be the living epistles in their generation and that we would make Scripture memory a high priority. 

For our boasting is this:
the testimony of our conscience
that we conducted ourselves

in the world in simplicity
and godly sincerity,

not with fleshly wisdom
but by the grace of God.

2 Corinthians 1:12

As I have been studying the Scripture recently I was impacted by the thought that knowledge- all we think we know- will pass away when the perfect comes.  Only love will remain.

Love never comes to an end.

There is the gift of speaking what

God has revealed, but it will no longer

be used. There is the gift of speaking

in other languages, but it will stop

by itself. There is the gift of knowledge,

but it will no longer be used.

1 Corinthians 13:8

My fun friend, Danielle.  She plays to win!

By God's grace may we seek the lasting thing and may we see living epistles raised in our midst.




Grace and peace,

TEACHING THE FINE ART {of doing good}

"The finest of all the fine arts is the art of doing good

and yet it is the least cultivated."

-T. DeWitt Talmage

Our daughters Sarah (9) and Michaela (12) enjoying the chance to kayak

Do you find that people tend to be more focused on grades and SAT scores than cultivating virtue in the youth of today?  Where do we go for the models of a high moral standard and well doing? 

 
 

 

 

I love what  Karen Andreola's shares in A Charlotte Mason Companion about the idea of training children toward virtue. 

 

 

THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN VIRTUE AND VICE

 

 

"...Character is two sided and, according to his training, his character qualities are either nurtured into virtues or allowed to degenerate into vices. 

Pity is a virtue if it cares for another. Idle pity just says, "Too bad." Pity can turn into self pity, which is not a virtue. Truth-telling is a virtue, but if it is blunt and tactless- spoken without love- it is not a virtue. The only way to make the virtue grow is to train the child's conscience and instill in him a love for others. 

To breed vices, the most powerful agent is love of self, and this almost always begins in the cradle. The toddler who cries, screams, whines or whimpers for his own way (and continually gets it) can become the youth or adult who terrorizes his family with his fits of rage. " p. 58

Sorry Hailey, your placement in this post was purely accidental *cough.*

 

Our 3 year old daughter, Hailey, really wanted to do the climbing wall like the big kids

PREVENTING FAMILY BICKERING

Karen goes on to explain that virtues must be inspired and cultivated.  A child cannot be punished into virtue.  Children need Biblical correction and they need to be inspired by heroes who embody the virtues of Scripture.  Well, I'll let Karen do the talking:

"... about family bickering.  The two main causes of them are selfishness and harsh judgement of others.  No punishment is of the smallest use to combat these.
In fact, punishment may awaken resentment and arouse greater spite against the person on whose account it occurred.  It will never diminish the selfishness.  Penalties will suffice for the moment, but another kind of correction is needed. 

Virtues, like flowers, grow in the sunshine.  You can cultivate them or draw them out with love and reason, but you can neither force nor whip them into existence.  Try to do so and the virtue you want will come forth in the guise of it's corresponding vice.  Instead of truth-speaking courage, you will get lying cowardice; instead of obedience, obstinacy."

Our 9 year old daughter, Sarah, on the archery range

  

She goes on to share that the best way to prevent bickering is to


train the child to find its happiness in giving others pleasure and to show him always how good and kind others are to him.


To let the names of mother, father, sister and brother stand for love and loving kindness to him."
If you have not always trained your children this way (and I am sure we would all admit we have not done this perfectly) she encourages the following:


"Never be cross, and never add harsh words of reproof when a child is sore under what it feels to be an injustice.

This is often difficult (YEP!  My own comment added)  to do because it is our natural response to control his temper with a stronger one of our own.  Yet I recommend you work against any tendency to overpower the child in this instance. 
 

Gently draw the belligerent mind to the fact that he is feeling very unhappy, {and} that this is merely the natural result of saying unkind things..." 

 It was nice to meet you in person Amanda!  Thanks for saying hi.  :)

GOOD BOOKS HAVE IMMENSE VALUE IN BUILDING VIRTUE


She goes on to encourage a bedtime story hour to cultivate the child's virtues and discourage bickering. 

"When the boys and girls sit round the fire with mother or father, a series of stories might be told, evening after evening, bearing on instances of love and self-denial.  Then you will have the opportunity to ask, "Wouldn't you like the chance to do such a caring thing for another person?"  p. 59

This isn't the idea of avoiding certain media for "legalistic" reasons (and I will be honest- I very much dislike the use of the word legalism at all because in our day it often amounts to little more than one man's Biblical conviction pricking another man's conscience) but we are encouraged instead to look for opportunities to build good resources into our children's hearts and minds for the purpose of cultivating virtue and teaching children to do good to others.  And yes, to skip those that don't.  

  

Our oldest daughter, Faith (14), was part of the drama team that portrayed real Bible couriers bringing Bibles into restricted countries.  These pics are from their practice.

  

She does not recommend stores such as Pinocchio because although the character has good intentions, he has a weak will.  Instead she recommends good and virtuous models such as Heidi, Hans Brinker, The Swiss Family Robinson and the like.  Stories that entertain but also model kindness, courage, generosity, loyalty, honor and working together as a family.

Faith caught with Bibles in Cuba.

  

Rather than forcing a child to give up their rights, Karen encourages that the parent use the opportunity to

"draw the child's attention to any suffering or discomfort that may have been occasioned by his selfishness:  'Imagine the pleasure you could have brought to your little brother had you built that sand castle with him this afternoon, and had not sulked in your room bored because Sarah could not play after all.' 

This is making a mental picture for the child of what could have been.  Then be sure to allow the child the full benefit of the happiness an unselfish action brings. 

Of course, our best help is from the Word of God.  Asking our younger children to tell us the areas they struggle in and helping them to find verses to memorize; assigning our older children to write out lies the enemy may use and verses to combat them (our oldest just wrote out over 2 pages of common lies our Enemy uses and solid verses to respond with from her own study) and reading from God's Word- emphasizing the heroes He does. 

  

I sure love getting kisses from my girlies!  This is proof I was there- thanks for insisting Sarah.

 

 

"I have had long talks with my children about their power to render others either good and happy, or naughty and miserable, and the great responsibility this power brings us."- Karen Andreola

Don't you wish all parents had this talk with their children?  Me too.

 

 

Cousin time!

 

 

 

I hope you enjoyed these thoughts on teaching virtue by Karen and Charlotte.  May we all be at work cultivating the greatest art- the art of doing good.

Blessings friends,

________________________________

Photos:  We've just returned from Homeschool Family Camp at Jenness Park. It is always a wonderful time to meet other like minded friends, enjoy fantastic food and be inspired in well doing.  On a funny note, you know what is usually not discussed at Homeschool Family Camp? Homeschooling. It rarely is.  Maybe it is because many of the moms have been at it a while and feel pretty set in what they are doing; maybe it's that we live and breathe education all the time and were ready for a field trip away or maybe it is because homeschoolers know that education is so much more than classroom lectures, flash cards and bored children. It is about family, the bringing up of souls while learning the skills of well doing along with the mental discipline mathematics and the like. And maybe we were in fact "homeschooling" together without needing to discuss it at all. :)

YOUTH GROUPS {yes... or no?}

What are your thoughts on church youth groups? What about Sunday School? Are they Biblical? Does that even matter?


My brother in law, a former youth pastor, sent me this link and asked me to share it with you:



DIVIDED, THE MOVIE



For a limited time you can watch the full length feature for free. Personally, I had to watch it twice to really hear what they were saying.

I'd encourage you to watch it with your spouse. Then I'd love to hear what you think...


Blessings to you!

Feeling Deprived?

"I DON'T WANT TO FEEL DEPRIVED"


It's funny-- the way we think sometimes. It's like we need to re-write the book in our head. Because sometimes we just get it backwards.

True story. A lady came into a Weight Watchers last week. The leader (whom I know) asked her why today was the day she had chosen to join. The woman explained that her knees were really bothering her; she had begun to avoid social situations- including being too embarrassed to go to her high school reunion; her clothes didn't fit and she had no energy left to do things with her family.

After speaking a bit more, this new member said she was afraid to join; however, because she didn't want to feel deprived.

Wasn't she already deprived? The leader sought to encourage her-- weren't the sore knees, the desire to avoid social situations and not having energy to do things with her family deprivations?

Now, I don't always make the right choices, but from the outside looking in it seems there are more painful deprivations facing this dear woman than just choosing carrots over potato chips. But we all do this, right? We somehow get it backwards. Rarely do we count eating healthy or exercise as "treats" we give ourselves.

And couldn't you see this applying to so many things? For example, it feels good in the moment to speak our mind, but God says it is better to rule our spirit (Proverbs 16:32). It feels good to sow in various ways to please our sinful nature, but God says we will reap what we sow (Galatians 6:7).





WHAT WAS I THINKING?


I guess we all have areas in our brain that need to be re-written (Romans 12:2). I know I do! I had personal experience with this just last week. Last week was busy... but it didn't have to be terrible. And, sadly, it was.

In fact, after a couple days of "terrible" I felt totally at a loss! The terrible was in me and it had begun eeking out! Sure, at times it was just inside (I'm sure no one could feel the under the surface vibe...), but other times it was in the form of a sigh, an impatient remark or a raised voice. I was crabby and instead of reforming my ways, each day got a little worse.

I began to look for something to blame- something at arms length. You know, I thought, this could be the change of life! Maybe hormones are to blame for my crabbiness. Oh yikes- it couldn't be that. I might be crabby for a decade! No. It's not that.

I sought out my husband and began to pour out my confession to him. I had been snappy. Easily frustrated. And a couple times I felt plain not nice!

He began to ask about my Bible time, my exercise routine, what I was meditating on... boy does he knows me. The fog began to lift. Oh- this wasn't a huge mystery after all. I was trying to make poor choices and expect there to be no consequence from my actions.

With my busy schedule, I had reduced my Bible reading time. In the evening I was so tired that I had decided I was a bit "deprived" and chose to play on the internet or watch a documentary rather than catch up on reading God's Word. Exercise had stopped completely. I was too tired from staying up late. And as the week went on, I began meditating on problems, rather than on the truth of God's Word. It didn't take long before I was a whole new person- a person I didn't want to be!

I wanted peace, but I wasn't doing what brings true peace.

Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things.

The things you have learned and received and heard and seen in me, practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.


~Philippians 4:8-9

I know better. What was I thinking?






WEIRD


Of course, no sooner had I repented to the Lord, than our thirteen year old came to me and said, "Isn't it so weird Mama, what the people recorded in Numbers did?" She was referring to Numbers 14:39-45 and what happened after certain men who had brought a bad report of the Promised Land were judged.

Those who had listened to those wicked and unbelieving bunch were told they would not enter the Promised Land. But the next morning, they "rose early," climbed the mountain to Moses and basically said, 'Yes, we sinned but now we are going to take the land.'

Moses warned them that God would not be with them, but they went anyway and were defeated.

"It's like they thought they could do things their own way and still receive God's blessing- weird" she said.

It cut me to the heart. That is what I had been doing. I was meditating on whatever I wanted to-- and expecting the God of Peace to be with me. Weird indeed.

How many times do we do that-- chose our own way and expect the blessing of God? Or at least no consequence?

LEARNING -- AGAIN

I had reasoned that I was "deprived" and in need of entertainment and so I began to feed the flesh and starve the Spirit. But in doing so, I had deprived myself of peace and many fruits of the Spirit. I confessed to my daughter that this was exactly what God had been showing me that morning.

Good thing she had spent some solid time in the Word.

"Two are better than one because they have good return for their labor.

For if either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion. But woe to the one who falls when there is not another to lift him up."

~Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

Here I am learning again (um... how many times is that now?) that I am not deprived by choosing God's way. Quite the opposite is true.

I am realizing that the things I was gravitating toward to fill that "deprived" feeling were really quite costly. And this week, my faithful little disciples, were beginning to struggle with some of the same attitudes I was.

Thankfully, we can come to the Father through Christ; confess our sin and receive forgiveness. We are in it together.

"He that covers his sins shall not prosper; but whoever confesses and forsakes them shall have mercy."

~Proverbs 28:13

Blessings to you!

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Photos: Back to School cupcakes made with chocolate covered graham cracker "chalk boards" and red M&M apples. In hindsight- I'd use smaller graham crackers. These were so big they would fall over at times! Of course, the girls didn't mind- they thought they were great. And new school year shots of the girls-- love those punkins!