Wednesday, September 23, 2009

BIG CHURCH, LITTLE CHURCH {and the Sensitive Type}


"Every family ought to be a little Church, consecrated to Christ and wholly influenced and governed by His rules. And family education and order are some of the chief means of grace. If these fail, all other means are like to prove ineffectual." ~Jonathan Edwards

We have long believed that the home is to be a mini version of the church. A "little church," if you will. One that meets every day of the week and gathers with other little churches one day out of seven for mutual encouragement and edification.

Like the "big" church, a healthy little church should include the reading of God's Word, singing, joyful living, self denial and an esteeming of others more highly than oneself. No problem, right?

Pastor Kevin DeYoung tells his congregation: "If you haven't had a conflict with anyone at this church you either haven't been here long enough or you're not involved enough... that's what happens when a lot of sinners get together."

Well, maybe some problem. As long as our souls are in the flesh, the small scale church and the large scale church will afford many... shall we say opportunities to practice patience, forgiveness, reconciliation and long suffering.

I love the church~ the little one and the big one.


A friend e-mailed me recently and asked how we handle continual hurt feelings and sensitivities around here~ we do have all girls she figured. : )

I've been thinking how some people (really male or female) can fall into being the "sensitive type." It is one of those "big church, little church" issues. It's an issue that affects the little church today and, if not checked, will affect the big church later.

When I say the "sensitive type" I do not mean the empathetic type. We need those who empathize, who care about real trials and encourage others to love and good deeds!

What I really mean when I say the "sensitive type" are those who are easily hurt and offended... and get stuck there.

Maybe you've seen the "sensitive type" all grown up. If so, you know it's not pretty. The woman who gives herself to this cycle becomes so self focused that she cannot think the best of others or minister. She is typically found nursing old wounds and feeling that she deserves better than she is getting.

I simply want our girls to be on the alert for this scheme of the enemy and to rise above the temptation to wallow in self pity. We've got to be able to forgive, turn the page and move on in love and service. It is one way we make every effort to preserve the unity of the brethren (Ephesians 4:3).


Here are a couple of verses that have been helpful in our home as we work through these thoughts with our girls:

1. Do not take everything people say to heart.

"Wisdom will help a wise person more than ten rulers can help a city. Certainly, there is no one so righteous on earth that he always does what is good and never sins. Don't take everything that people say to heart, or you may hear your own servant cursing you. Your conscience knows that you have cursed others many times." ~Eccles. 7:19-22

God tells us not to take everything people say to heart. It is wise to take Him at His word on this and to remind ourselves not to do it. And, the verse continues, If you really think about it, you've done the same thing to someone else.

We can, at times, get so offended by someone that we block out the cold, hard truth that "there is no one so righteous on earth that he always does what is good and never sins." Amen? Here's a chance to remind ourselves we've done the same thing, forgive this person and move on in love and service.

2. Pride and being self focused are two sides of the same coin.

"God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble." James 4:6

I had this discussion with a little girl this week. I grabbed a quarter and sat down with her in a comfy spot for a little chat.

"What is this?" I asked

"Twenty-five cents."

"Right, it's twenty-five cents, or a quarter. And this is the heads side, right?"


"What if I turn this over and we look at the tails side. Is it still a quarter, or is it something different?"

"It's still a quarter."

Right. And what I am seeking to explain to the little one struggling with being easily offended is that she is really struggling with pride. And pride is not something to nurse. It is something to repent of.

We know what pride looks like when we see its ugly head boasting, looking down on others or protesting loudly that we deserve better, but what about when it manifests itself as the easily offended, self focused, I-still-deserve-better-than-I-am-being-treated side?

Same coin. Both reveal a self focused (rather than a God focused) thought process. A thought process that believes they are getting worse than they deserve~ when really they are always receiving better than they deserve.

May we guide our "sensitive types" in grace
. The "big" church will thank us. : )

Many blessings as you lead little hearts home,

Photos: The back deck filled with girls measuring, pouring and playing in cool water on a warm day.


  1. Amen to all that!!

    So well worded Rebecca, and oh so relevant in our "little church" here too. :) Thank you!

  2. Amen! This applies to boys too. I have a young boy who struggles with self at fact I have 2. One would be considered "sensitive". We must be so careful to keep ourselves in check and so model God's nature to our young ones. And training (I have found) is difficult! Thank you for this encouraging post.

  3. Thank you Rebecca -

    I needed to hear this today. Not my kids, me...

  4. Saminda and Tania. Thank you friends. God's Word is living and active.

    Amanda~ amen! We must stay on the same team with our children. We have an enemy, but it is not one another. : )

    Bellebearberry~ Thank you for sharing that. And I needed to write it. : )


  5. Very well spoken. WOW! I needed that very badly. Thank you.

  6. Wow! Great post! I admit, growing up I was a very sensitive. My mother used to tell my to let things "go in one ear, and out the other." One day I told her that I tried to do that, but "it goes in my ear, down to my heart, and then out the other ear." Thanks for sharing the verses from Eccles. I had not read those before! I may have to share those verses with my "sensitive" readers. :)

  7. Great advice, Rebecca. My one who tends toward sensitivity is slowly learning to let go.

    Really, I find that most adults who say they're sensitive aren't. They're touchy.

    If we are Biblically sensitive, then we are sensitive to the needs of others, not touchy about our own nursed offenses.

    Love you!


  8. This Big Girl gets offended by many things, but thankfully God is merciful and quick to correct my spirit. Thank you for the reaffirmation, though, Rebecca. Let's toss that coin of pridefulness for God's riches to come pouring down on us!

  9. Thank you for this post! I definitly needed to read this today! I can't wait to share it with my girls. I am a new reader and have really enjoyed going back and reading all your older posts. Such a blessing!

  10. Truly insightful, instructive, encouraging and convicting post. Thank you, friend, I needed to hear this, print it out, and save it in my bible to read often. :o)


  11. Hi Scrapingirl!

    So glad the Lord could use this. He is so good! : )

    The FrazzledMama!

    Oh yes, they can zip right now to the heart, can't they? It is so helpful to see to keep our eye on the goal. It helps us to move forward. Lots of love to you!

    Hi Kenj!

    Thank you my friend. Well stated. A check for my spirit is when I feel "sensitive" I check to see if I am really being sensitive toward others or just for myself. When it is purely "me" focused I know I've lost sight of the goal and I need to get over it and get serving! Glad to hear that your sensitive babe is growing in this. We all have one... or two... : )

    I love you!

    Hi Kendra S-L~ Amen sister! Thanks for your comment.

    Hi Melinda~

    You are so welcome! Glad you are here.

    Dear Lisa,

    Thank you friend. You are so kind.


  12. Oh WOW Rebecca!! I often wish you just had a paper magazine I could read through the month!! ;) God has given you lots of wisdom! ;)

    I'm so glad you share it w/ us all! ;)

    Thank you! ;)

    May you be blessed! ;)

  13. Wow... I love this word. This is a definite area that so many big churches and little churches need help with... and you are oh so right... pride is at the heart. God us help!!