THANK YOU, MOMMY!

Today is my mommy's 70th birthday!  There is no way that I can express adequate thanks for all that she has done for me or the positive impact she has been on my family, but on her birthday I wanted to express a few of the thank you's that are on my heart.

THANK YOU, MOMMY.  Thank you for always taking us to church.  Even when you had to take us alone. 

Thank you for teaching us how to make holidays feel special.  For remembering to include M&M candy canes in our stockings and for showing us that a little garnish can make things prettier. 

Thank you for teaching us that love is the thing.  That we will always have all that we need when we have each other.   

Thank you for always cheering on our children.  Whether it was their first jet ski ride or their first year in college.  You will never know how much your encouragement means to us.

Thank you for teaching us that a little poise and a fun spirit can take us far in life.  And not to run with scissors.  Thanks to you we never poked our eye out.  Not even once!

 

Thank you for being willing to love us while we were a work in progress.  And really, we still are.  Knowing that you care for us and pray for us every day is such a gift. 

Thank you for gingham tablecloths, for doll cakes and for back yard bar-b-ques.  We didn't have a lot of money but we always had a lot of love.

Thank you for remembering what it was like to be little.  For always sending our children cards for every birthday and holiday and for taking the time to get down on the floor to play a game with them. 

Thank you for always being a positive example to us in exercise.  When I was a girl I remember exercising with you to a record and going on walks.  Now my girls exercise with me to a DVD and go on walks as well.  We think of you often when we do.  

Thank you for so many life lessons that could only have been taught by you.  For being the prettiest room mother at school.  For driving me to Girl Scouts and for encouraging me to try out for the school plays.  For letting me be alone in my room with the music way too loud on hard days.  Thank you for believing in me; for always being my listening ear and for your tireless example of hard work and perseverance in Christ.  You really have been the best mom ever.

For all the millions and millions of thank you notes that should have been written, but will always be written in my heart.  Thank you!  I love you so very much, Mommy. 

I think you will agree, she is a pretty special lady.  Happy Birthday, Mommy!   

Love,

KEEPING FIRST THINGS FIRST

Big rocks first.

Maybe you have heard the rock and sand analogy. It goes something like this. We all have a bucket. And in it we want to carry a few big rocks, a few pebbles and some sand. The dilemma is how to fit everything in. If we fill our bucket up with sand first, we will never have the space for the large rocks, let alone the pebbles we also wish to carry. But if we choose to place the large rocks in our bucket first, then the pebbles and sand have a way of slipping in between the cracks. With careful planning, we have more room for both.

Colleen Adams, Christian wife, homeschool mother and counselor, helps women to plan the “big rocks” they wish to focus on with their lives.

In her experience as a counselor, she has met with many older women who are now deeply discouraged because they allowed life to simply “happen to them.” They allowed their buckets to be filled with unimportant things- sand- and never prayerfully considered the big rocks they wish they had carried.
 

Do we have a clear direction? Are we excitedly and vibrantly living the purpose God has for us (Jer. 1:9, Eph. 2:10)? Or are we feeling hopeless, discontent and like life is just happening to us? Colleen encourages all women to set godly goals; to check these goals quarterly (a big key in success) and to use the talents God has given them- to the max! I recently had the opportunity to hear Colleen speak, and I wanted to share her insight with you.

THE PURPOSE OF GODLY GOALS

Enjoying a Winter Brunch with CVP and RPC.

Of course, the only good goal for our lives is a godly goal. We desire all of our pursuits to be lined up with Scripture. Colleen is so careful to explain that setting godly goals is a tool to help us clear our thinking and help us to pursue the things we feel the Lord is calling us to do. We do not seek to do something for God (to earn His favor) but we do seek to be an intentional steward of the talents the Lord has given us.

You may say, I just want a simple life. Well, that is just what goals help us to have. Instead of being pulled one hundred different directions, we are able to set a course following prayerful planning with the Lord and our husbands.

You may not feel like you are a natural planner. Colleen encourages us that we can all plan. If we were able to plan our wedding and Christmas, we can plan our marriage and our goals for the next few months.

You may feel like you don't see the benefit in being structured. Colleen shares that life goals cultivate an awareness in us and asserts that a lack of awareness causes us to make poor choices. She shares that every contestant on the Biggest Loser has the same things in common: they were not aware of the calories they were eating, they did not plan their meals or exercise and they chose the wrong things to eat (not enough protein, very little water and very little whole grain). Soon they were not in control at all, but at a loss as to how they were hundreds of pounds overweight. We are continually choosing one thing over another. Doesn't it make sense that we would want to be aware- clear sighted and prayerfully directed- when making these choices?

Our daughters Faith and Michaela (right two) with friends at the brunch.

WHAT ARE YOUR NON-NEGOTIABLES?

Colleen suggests that we each prayerfully consider what our non-negotiables (or big rocks) are. These are the daily things that must happen. Making your own non-negotiable list is eye opening. You will quickly see that many items that you spend valuable time on each day really just don't make the list! They aren't really important to us, but they do take up “rock time” without our even realizing it.

Some of the categories she encourages us to consider for our Top 10 list include:

1. Self Care (Being a good steward of God's house- this includes diet, exercise and sleep)
2. Spiritual Life (Bible and Bible and/or Catechism Memory, Family Worship)
3. Intellect and Emotional Life (Are you growing your intellect? Do you have a reading list for the year? Reading works by saints who have gone before us is valuable- we take strength from godly examples. What are your children using as their copy work? Are you dumping the bad baggage- rebellion, dreams of what isn't, bitterness?  Do you take 10-15 minutes to be alone each day?)
4. Relationships (Maybe this is making one-on-one time with your children each month, Connecting with one of your few close friends, Practicing gratitude)
5. Life Strategies and Time Management (Maybe this means logging your day to see where your time is going or planning how you will spread the gospel)
6. Nest Management (Our homes- Colleen suggests taking time to focus on the Master Bedroom first and clearing it of clutter to make it a haven and not a garage.)
7. Financial Stewardship
8. Unique You (What interests and talents has the Lord given you?)

There is so much I could share about each of these categories, but one thing she specifically warns women to avoid is the false and dangerous piety of neglecting self care. She says that we should not insult God by letting His house get run down. Caring for ourselves is not an end in itself and should not be out of balance with other goals, but self care does prepare us to serve others, to spread the gospel and to keep us from the temptation of pitying ourselves. Note: Items next to each category- in parentheses- are just to get us thinking about the goals we might wish to set in each category.

Sweet friends and family.

BE SUCCESSFUL

Colleen suggests that the surest way to succeed in keeping our goals is to:

1. Set just two very specific goals for each of your non-negotiables (ie. Don't just say for relationships that you want to be a "better" wife, but that you want to be a "better wife by" choosing to do something specific that will be meaningful to your husband.) 
2. Write your goals down on paper. Keep track of how you are doing (Colleen's family has even made a weekly checklist to keep their goals in sight each week).
3. Meet with your accountability partner- you husband or close friend once a quarter to review how things are going.  You don't have to wait until the New Year rolls around again to check in on your progress- by meeting quarterly you have the chance to start again every three months!

Our dear sister, Wendy, faithfully serving the women of CVP.

I hope you will be blessed by Colleen's wisdom as much as I was.

 

Question: What are your tricks for keeping first things first/ making sure you are getting your big rocks tackled each day? 


________________________________

Todd, Colleen and their five children serve as missionaries

in Quebec.

You can reach them at:

Field and Hearth Project, 3220 W. Monte Vista #300, Turlock, California 95380

Email: sevenadams@msn.com

DEAR DAVID {ease up Brother!}

Dear David, 

I was reading the passionate words of Psalm 101 the other day and, well,  I am just not sure how well you would fit into the modern church.  I don't mean to discourage you Brother, and I know that God called you a man after His own heart (Acts 13:22), but if you are going to talk to today's crowd... well, I'd like to encourage you to consider taming things down a bit.

"I will set nothing wicked before my eyes;

I hate the work of those who fall away;

It shall not cling to me.

A perverse heart shall depart from me;

I will not know wickedness."

~ Psalm 101:3-4

This is what I mean.  You say that you will set nothing wicked before your eyes- and you will not know wickedness.  No meditating on TV, movies or magazines that make a mock of sin?  Wow.  That is just going to earn you the title of legalist around here.  And while being known as someone who adheres strictly to the law of God may have been a good thing in your day- trust me when I say that type of title is seriously looked down upon today.  People are just not going to have patience with that kind of talk...

"Whoever secretly slanders his neighbor,

Him I will destroy;

The one who has a haughty look and

a proud heart, him I will not endure. 

My eyes shall be on the faithful of the land,

that they may dwell with me;

He who walks in a perfect way,

he shall serve me."

~ Psalm 101:5-6

Sigh- ok this too.  This type of talk is just going to be twisted by those who hear it.  We can't really expect to find people who walk in a "perfect way."  And the modern church really doesn't  want to hear talk about obedience- they see it as trying to earn their salvation, rather than the fruit that proves it (Colossians 1:10 and John 15:16).  

People want to hear about grace- and only grace.  Not obedience.  When you say that you would only hang out with those who walk in a "perfect way" and that you would not tolerate those who are secretly snarky and assassinate the character of others- well, I just need to warn you that you will be seen as intolerably prideful.  It is not popular to hold absolutes or to judge anything these days.  In fact, you will likely be accused of being in opposition to Jesus Himself who is seen as only grace and love.

Yes, I know that Jesus was hated because He testified against (rather than approving of) the evil of the world:
 

"The world cannot hate you, but it hates Me

because I testify that what it does is evil."

~ John 7:7

But we have a more... abridged Jesus today.  Jesus is now known as Someone who hung out with sinners, not as the One who called sinners to repentance.  We steer away from verses like :  

"Go now and leave your life of sin."

~ John 8:11

"I am the light of the world.

Whoever follows Me will never walk

in darkness..."

~ John 8:12

"If you love Me, you will

obey what I command."

~ John 14:15

Instead of repentance or change, we like to focus more on love and tolerance of all.    

I would like to encourage you privately by the Words of Christ when He said:

 

"If the world hates you, know that it has hated Me
before it hated you. 

If you were of the world, the world would love its
own; but because you are not of the world,
but I chose you out of the world, because of this

the world hates you."  ~ John 15:18
 

And by the words of Paul when he said:

"Now you are light in the world.  Live as children
of light... and find out what pleases the Lord.  
Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of
darkness, but rather expose them."  ~ Ephesians 5:11  
 

Again, I love your passion and appreciate your stance against evil, but... I just don't think you are going to do well as a popular speaker these days.  You might just want to consider toning things down a few notches if you want to be seen as truly relevant in today's culture.  And maybe even make an exception to all you have written and consider watching some popular witchcraft movies-- you know so that you will have relevant things to share and really be able to reach today's lost.  

Thanks so much for all the great Psalms and for your boldness.

Signed,

A Really Big Fan

_________________________

I hope it would be obvious that I intended the above as a bit of tongue in cheek humor and not that I would truly advise David to set aside his passion for godliness. :)

The sad truth is, I have long felt that if many of the saints of old were to come into the current

"Christian church" they would be received with less than a warm welcome.

To make sure that I am not misunderstood, I want to be clear to state that I in no way believe that by following the law we can earn salvation.  Faith is clearly a gift from God.  And although I believe that God first awakens a thirst in us, we see that Jesus' only criteria for salvation was simply that we thirst for it (John 7:37) and He tells us that whoever truly comes to Christ will not be turned away.  To God be the glory forever!

So, if it is not "salvational" then does GOD really care about what we set before our eyes or how we live?  We'll talk about that in our next post...

TEACHING THE FINE ART {of doing good}

"The finest of all the fine arts is the art of doing good

and yet it is the least cultivated."

-T. DeWitt Talmage

Our daughters Sarah (9) and Michaela (12) enjoying the chance to kayak

Do you find that people tend to be more focused on grades and SAT scores than cultivating virtue in the youth of today?  Where do we go for the models of a high moral standard and well doing? 

 
 

 

 

I love what  Karen Andreola's shares in A Charlotte Mason Companion about the idea of training children toward virtue. 

 

 

THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN VIRTUE AND VICE

 

 

"...Character is two sided and, according to his training, his character qualities are either nurtured into virtues or allowed to degenerate into vices. 

Pity is a virtue if it cares for another. Idle pity just says, "Too bad." Pity can turn into self pity, which is not a virtue. Truth-telling is a virtue, but if it is blunt and tactless- spoken without love- it is not a virtue. The only way to make the virtue grow is to train the child's conscience and instill in him a love for others. 

To breed vices, the most powerful agent is love of self, and this almost always begins in the cradle. The toddler who cries, screams, whines or whimpers for his own way (and continually gets it) can become the youth or adult who terrorizes his family with his fits of rage. " p. 58

Sorry Hailey, your placement in this post was purely accidental *cough.*

 

Our 3 year old daughter, Hailey, really wanted to do the climbing wall like the big kids

PREVENTING FAMILY BICKERING

Karen goes on to explain that virtues must be inspired and cultivated.  A child cannot be punished into virtue.  Children need Biblical correction and they need to be inspired by heroes who embody the virtues of Scripture.  Well, I'll let Karen do the talking:

"... about family bickering.  The two main causes of them are selfishness and harsh judgement of others.  No punishment is of the smallest use to combat these.
In fact, punishment may awaken resentment and arouse greater spite against the person on whose account it occurred.  It will never diminish the selfishness.  Penalties will suffice for the moment, but another kind of correction is needed. 

Virtues, like flowers, grow in the sunshine.  You can cultivate them or draw them out with love and reason, but you can neither force nor whip them into existence.  Try to do so and the virtue you want will come forth in the guise of it's corresponding vice.  Instead of truth-speaking courage, you will get lying cowardice; instead of obedience, obstinacy."

Our 9 year old daughter, Sarah, on the archery range

  

She goes on to share that the best way to prevent bickering is to


train the child to find its happiness in giving others pleasure and to show him always how good and kind others are to him.


To let the names of mother, father, sister and brother stand for love and loving kindness to him."
If you have not always trained your children this way (and I am sure we would all admit we have not done this perfectly) she encourages the following:


"Never be cross, and never add harsh words of reproof when a child is sore under what it feels to be an injustice.

This is often difficult (YEP!  My own comment added)  to do because it is our natural response to control his temper with a stronger one of our own.  Yet I recommend you work against any tendency to overpower the child in this instance. 
 

Gently draw the belligerent mind to the fact that he is feeling very unhappy, {and} that this is merely the natural result of saying unkind things..." 

 It was nice to meet you in person Amanda!  Thanks for saying hi.  :)

GOOD BOOKS HAVE IMMENSE VALUE IN BUILDING VIRTUE


She goes on to encourage a bedtime story hour to cultivate the child's virtues and discourage bickering. 

"When the boys and girls sit round the fire with mother or father, a series of stories might be told, evening after evening, bearing on instances of love and self-denial.  Then you will have the opportunity to ask, "Wouldn't you like the chance to do such a caring thing for another person?"  p. 59

This isn't the idea of avoiding certain media for "legalistic" reasons (and I will be honest- I very much dislike the use of the word legalism at all because in our day it often amounts to little more than one man's Biblical conviction pricking another man's conscience) but we are encouraged instead to look for opportunities to build good resources into our children's hearts and minds for the purpose of cultivating virtue and teaching children to do good to others.  And yes, to skip those that don't.  

  

Our oldest daughter, Faith (14), was part of the drama team that portrayed real Bible couriers bringing Bibles into restricted countries.  These pics are from their practice.

  

She does not recommend stores such as Pinocchio because although the character has good intentions, he has a weak will.  Instead she recommends good and virtuous models such as Heidi, Hans Brinker, The Swiss Family Robinson and the like.  Stories that entertain but also model kindness, courage, generosity, loyalty, honor and working together as a family.

Faith caught with Bibles in Cuba.

  

Rather than forcing a child to give up their rights, Karen encourages that the parent use the opportunity to

"draw the child's attention to any suffering or discomfort that may have been occasioned by his selfishness:  'Imagine the pleasure you could have brought to your little brother had you built that sand castle with him this afternoon, and had not sulked in your room bored because Sarah could not play after all.' 

This is making a mental picture for the child of what could have been.  Then be sure to allow the child the full benefit of the happiness an unselfish action brings. 

Of course, our best help is from the Word of God.  Asking our younger children to tell us the areas they struggle in and helping them to find verses to memorize; assigning our older children to write out lies the enemy may use and verses to combat them (our oldest just wrote out over 2 pages of common lies our Enemy uses and solid verses to respond with from her own study) and reading from God's Word- emphasizing the heroes He does. 

  

I sure love getting kisses from my girlies!  This is proof I was there- thanks for insisting Sarah.

 

 

"I have had long talks with my children about their power to render others either good and happy, or naughty and miserable, and the great responsibility this power brings us."- Karen Andreola

Don't you wish all parents had this talk with their children?  Me too.

 

 

Cousin time!

 

 

 

I hope you enjoyed these thoughts on teaching virtue by Karen and Charlotte.  May we all be at work cultivating the greatest art- the art of doing good.

Blessings friends,

________________________________

Photos:  We've just returned from Homeschool Family Camp at Jenness Park. It is always a wonderful time to meet other like minded friends, enjoy fantastic food and be inspired in well doing.  On a funny note, you know what is usually not discussed at Homeschool Family Camp? Homeschooling. It rarely is.  Maybe it is because many of the moms have been at it a while and feel pretty set in what they are doing; maybe it's that we live and breathe education all the time and were ready for a field trip away or maybe it is because homeschoolers know that education is so much more than classroom lectures, flash cards and bored children. It is about family, the bringing up of souls while learning the skills of well doing along with the mental discipline mathematics and the like. And maybe we were in fact "homeschooling" together without needing to discuss it at all. :)

I DON'T WANT TO OBEY YOU!

Lydia (age 6) to Hailey (age 3):

Lydia: Hailey, aren't you supposed to eat that string cheese at the table?

Hailey: No...

Lydia: Don't you want to obey Mama and Pa?

Hailey: Ya, but I don't want to obey you!

 

When I heard the above interaction, it struck me a little funny. And then I thought, "That is typical though, isn't it?" It's often the same way in the big church.
 

Here Lydia was faithfully reminding Hailey of the rule that she is required to eat at the table and Hailey was rebelling against it- saying that she wanted to obey me... but not Lydia.

Of course, taking Lydia's counsel would be obeying me. It was my rule after all.

Do you think believers are receptive when people approach them with God's Word and remind them of the commands of God? Have you ever tried to correct someone privately and been attacked for it?

I think over time we learn to shy away from correcting those in sin because we fear their response. But in obedience we are to correct- and leave the repentance up to God.

The Lord’s bond-servant must not be quarrelsome, but be kind to all, able to teach, patient when wronged.

With gentleness correcting those who are in opposition, if perhaps God may grant them repentance leading to the knowledge of the truth,

And they may come to their senses and escape from the snare of the devil, having been held captive by him to do his will.

2 Timothy 2:24-25

Preach the world; be ready in season and out of season; reprove, rebuke, exhort, with great patience and instruction.

2 Timothy 4:2

Did you see these brave sisters addressing the issue of modesty in a recent film being marketed to Christians? It's a good read.
Blessings!

Lindsey and Thomas

LINDSEY AND THOMAS I was so excited for the recent opportunity to capture the wedding of two amazing people. It was difficult to narrow down the images to the few here. Both families were so very photogenic.

Lindsey was a gorgeous bride- inside and out. As I zipped around taking pre-wedding photos of her dress, the rings and so on, I heard her putting other people at ease and making sure that everyone felt comfortable and relaxed.

Lindsey was surrounded by her close knit family; her parents, sisters and her soon to be sisters in law for a very intimate family wedding. She wore the pearls that had been worn for generations before her and selected very classic and lovely elements for her day- generous daffodil bouquets, black and white toile bridesmaids dresses and a custom made gown created by her grandmother who is also a very talented seamstress.

Both families are very well loved and respected members of our church and demonstrated a lovely courtship. I was thankful our girls had the opportunity to witness their example and again feel so blessed to be in a community of such committed believers.

As the start of a new tradition Lindsey's dad, Carl, carried a family Bible with him down the isle. It was passed to our pastor who gave the charge to this young couple and then handed it to Thomas to signify the passing of the spiritual headship to his charge. Their wedding will be the first logged in this family bible.

The second kiss- just after they came down the isle as husband and wife. One of my favorite images.

The location of their reception had these gorgeous arches. I loved how they framed and captured their classic style.

We are so very happy for you Lindsey and Thomas and so blessed that we were able to be a small part of your lovely day!

Love,